In this episode, Tracey Tee, a psychedelic mom from Denver, Colorado, talks about her experience using psychedelics and earth medicines as a way to connect with herself and her spirituality and parent at a new level. Tracey shares the story of how she came to spearhead the “Moms on Mushrooms” movement and discusses her business, M.O.M., which offers a three-month course for mothers to connect with themselves and their spirituality with the support of microdosing psilocybin mushrooms.
Tracey and Michaela discuss the role of mothers in the psychedelic space, the challenges and joys of motherhood, and the impact of earth medicines on their experience parenting. They also dive into the benefits of microdosing, which can help mothers feel more present, tap into their creativity, and explore aspects of their identity that may previously have been unconscious.
Read Transcript
[00:00:00] Michaela Carlin: Hi, Tracey, how are you today? I am here on the Psychedelic Mom Podcast, so welcome to all listeners. With Tracey Tee., another psychedelic mom. How are you? I'm good. It's so good to see you. I've kind of seen you out in the world in social media, and I've We've been really curious about who this woman who started Moms is, Moms on Mushrooms.
So where are you in the world?
[00:00:34] Tracey Tee: I am in Denver, Colorado, decriminalized Denver.
[00:00:39] Michaela Carlin: Amazing. Um, so today it's just nice to be with another mother on this path because I'm sure we've navigated some of the same things. I'd love to hear your story and how you got here. And also what it has been like for you to be a mother in this space.
How do you have these conversations with your kids and, um, what you're doing in the world and the changes that you're trying to bring forth. So why don't we start with, how did you get here?
[00:01:09] Tracey Tee: Hmm. Yeah, that's, um, that's the longest answer. Um, it's kind of a, uh, quite, it's been quite a journey. Um, but I'll try to keep it short.
So I came here by way of a live entertainment comedy show that I had for 10 years. Um, I co wrote and co produced and performed a show for mothers called the pump and dump show. Uh, that was a very tongue in cheek. Yeah. Really raw. Very honest, um, kind of liberating comedy show where we laughed about all the things we have in common.
And I, um, created it, co created it with my best friend and business partner. We toured the country for nearly six years, um, ended up, uh, franchising ourselves. We had, in 2018, we had a cast out of LA, um, touring regionally. Another cast out of Chicago touring regionally. We had a podcast. Uh, co produced by Warner Brothers.
We had an app at one point. Um, wow. And in 2019, the, uh, the casts were finally kind of complete and rehearsed and we put them out on a, a short fall tour to kind of get their sea legs with the intention of over a hundred shows in 2020, just the first half of 2020. And by March. We had to cancel everything and I watched a business that I built for 10 years just fall away.
Whoa. Like stand in my fingers. I watched the whole thing crumble. We lost everything. We lost untold amounts of cash money. Uh, And we just were really never able to get back on our feet for a number of reasons. Um, and during that time and during that grieving time, because when you lose a business, um, for anyone who has owned a business, it is like having a child.
It's part of you. It's a whole thing in 10 years of blood, sweat, and tears, uh, just taken like in the blink of an eye was really hard for both of us to alchemize. And in that grief, um, the summer of 2020, I kind of had this It's really big spiritual awakening and I had been on a more spiritual path for a number of years before that and now looking back I can see the booms and the flags and the experiences that God was putting in my path to lead me to this moment.
Um, but in June I just kind of had one of those times where I just felt like the presence of spirit and I didn't know what it was because I didn't have any context. Um, but ended up, uh, syncing up with a, with a girlfriend who I was friends with but not very close with who happened to be a kind of spiritual coach.
Mm-hmm . And that summer she came over and we sat outside in my backyard every week for months while I worked out all my business and like got taught. That's kind of what this was and what it, what it means to wake up and what it means for me. And we worked on my inner child and we worked on my shadow and I cried a lot.
And um, it was a really beautiful time for me, a really beautiful time of healing. And during that time, I was also just sort of feeling the call to plant medicine. And I had, Yeah. I had been really curious about it for a long time, I actually was just looking back on my Instagram, and I had gone to see Paul Stamets alone.
Uh, he came to Denver and was speaking at Denver University, and I had scalped a ticket and went there by myself, alone, just to hear him talk, like in 2018. Um, I'd never even tried mushrooms, and I never tried mushrooms until I was 45 years old, or any other. I mean, I had some weed, I drink, but like, nothing major.
[00:05:01] Michaela Carlin: That's pretty wild just thinking about that, right? The magic of mushrooms and there you are not even realizing the call and here you are today having started Moms on Mushrooms. Exactly. And what is so interesting about what you're talking about too, like as a woman, you birthed this business, put all this like blood, sweat, and tears and there it's gone and through the grief.
Um, opened you up to doing that deeper work that, you know, in some ways you were like, I did my shadow work. I, I cried a lot. I just want to stop and reflect on the fact that, um, I know that work is really hard. And so thank you for doing that work because I'm sure that that impacted your life and where you are today and your family's life.
[00:05:47] Tracey Tee: A hundred percent in every way, you know, it opened my eyes and as you know, like when you see things, you can't unsee them. And my whole universe just got rocked in those times. And I'm, you know, I'm a 2020 Awakener, like many, many, many, many people, um, thank goodness. And um, and so when I, as I was growing and learning this, this call, and I always say this now, I mean, when the medicine.
When you're ready for it and it's ready for you, I always say, especially with, with psilocybin with mushrooms, like they just pack their little mushroom suitcases and they just show up on your door and if you open it, they're just, they just move on in and you don't even really need to take it yet. Like they're just there.
The medicine is there for you. And that's definitely how it was for me. Um, and, um, I ended up going on a camping trip with a bunch of other mothers and my best friend and business partner that, uh, I think that summer. Um, and took mushrooms for the first time by a lake outside Boulder, Colorado in the summer.
And I knew driving up, I was like, I think If this is the profound experience my heart is telling me it's going to be, like, there might be something here. And it was, I was just one of those people, like, the minute I, I, I took mushrooms, it was like, where have you been all my life? And it was a beautiful night.
I saw I saw the grid over the earth. I saw every symbol ever written by man. I saw the fourth dimension. I felt the presence of God protecting us, you know, all of the beautiful things and had a great time laughing. I remember going to sleep in our camper, like with my cheeks just hurting so bad from smiling for like eight hours with these amazing women.
[00:07:32] Michaela Carlin: And how about that as a mother, just even that, to take the time for that kind of joy and sisterhood. And I think a lot of times, like, even I was reflecting on this recently, that when I came to the psychedelic space, I kind of had this, like, narrow perspective of like, oh, it has to only be done ceremonially.
Right. And as I've interviewed more and more people and realized, no, no, no, no, no, these medicines find you in whatever way it could be with at a concert, it could be deeply in ceremony or it could be camping with other mothers and laughing and opening up some windows. So I find that fascinating that that was your entry.
[00:08:11] Tracey Tee: It was, and it's a really good point, and I've really thought about it in that context of, like, with other mothers, because that night, as we were kind of drifting off to sleep, Shana and I, we just laid there, just talking about our family, and how much we loved our kids, how much we loved our husbands, like, it was nothing but gratitude, and we just were just talking in the dark, like, filled with love, I mean, and, Okay.
It's
[00:08:36] Michaela Carlin: so beautiful. It's
[00:08:37] Tracey Tee: so beautiful. It was such a gift. Um, so after that I was kind of hooked, um, and I had been doing research on microdosing and it really made sense to me. I also, um, have had a lifetime of reproductive problems. I had stage four endometriosis since I was in my twenties, um, have had a million surgeries.
It's very painful. Yeah. Um, I've had a million surgeries, cysts, all the things, um, was able to have one baby by the grace of God, um, that was horrible pregnancy and wasn't able to get pregnant anymore after that. And eventually had to have a full hysterectomy at the age of 41. So everything was taken. I got nothing.
No ovaries, no cervix, like nothing. And
[00:09:18] Michaela Carlin: where was that in relation to you losing the business and all of that. It was
[00:09:23] Tracey Tee: prior to, um, it was actually kind of at the peak of our business when I felt the worst, when I was so miserable because I had cysts. All my organs were like fused by scar tissue on one side of my body.
And I would, I just remember like dragging myself on stage to perform in front of thousands of women. Until finally, my doctor was like, you've, this has to, this has to go, like you're not, you're at risk. Like they were, they were worried about like organ failure and, uh, she wouldn't even do the surgery. We had to find like this top cancer doctor actually, who is very skilled at precision surgery because there was so many organs involved.
Um, but that caused me to go into instant menopause, like within 24 hours of having the surgery, you know, when your ovaries are removed, you're not producing any hormones and your body needs those. And so I went into this instant menopause, and I would say that recovery period was kind of my first true stepping into, I, I remember recovering that summer when I had it, which, um, coincidentally was around the same week as my big spiritual awakening, like June 20th, 21st, 24th, um, and so I sat and read all these books while I was recovering from my surgery, and there's something about, um, So moving into menopause, losing your female organs.
That was a very, you have to search hard in your, in your soul to find your femininity, your sacred feminine, your, your worth, frankly, you know, mourning the loss that I could never have any more kids that I only had one. Um, and I say that because you
[00:10:58] Michaela Carlin: are, oops, sorry. One of the things I'm curious about is as you were going through this process, You also were, I'm curious about what was happening on stage.
Like, what was the show about? You said it was about motherhood and it was this comedy, but what themes were you tapping into?
[00:11:19] Tracey Tee: So that was, yeah, and that is part of the past too. So the show, again, it was called the Pompidoum show. It was very tongue in cheek. We always said we were the jerks, um, who said the things that nobody else wanted to say.
Um, and so we would let people get it off their chest. That was kind of the metaphor of the Pompidoum show. Um, but our, our, So our overarching theme was the name of our umbrella company, which was Band of Mothers. And our whole point was, look, it doesn't matter if you've never tried, never tried a cloth diaper.
Or if you ate your own placenta, we can all laugh about the same things that happen in motherhood. And the point is that we laugh about it. And that everyone can come in the same room and you find all these commonalities. And it was a really great pressure gauge, release gauge, um, for women. And I, I look at it as like the olden times where We needed the comedy, we needed to gather, you know, in a comedy club and there was a lot of alcohol and there was, it was just much more, um, showy, um, but there was a lot of heart into it.
The whole show ended with this big anthem band of mothers and you're an awesome mom was the name of the song because half of the show was music and people would be up clapping and crying and hugging each other and giving each other mom's high five. It was amazing. Um, but that feeling when I started working with the medicine, it became readily apparent that after COVID and all the lockdowns and all the ridiculousness, we had lost our community and our connection to each other.
[00:12:47] Music: Wow.
[00:12:48] Tracey Tee: That what we did in the Pompidou show to bring moms together was sort of like step one and that I Personally felt this calling to go to step two, which is okay. We got to start talking. We have to start healing We got to start recognizing the things that are, you know, literally killing us. Yeah, and We got a we got to get back from being upside down and I felt the more I worked with the medicine Especially in the micro dosing space.
I was like this This this is a healer This is a possibility for mothers to heal. And it was so clear, and it absolutely was confirmed when I did my own larger dose journeys, that this was a gift that had shown itself, that had showed up at our doors at this specific time in history to give moms a chance.
to get their sovereignty back, to find who they are, you know, find who they are as women who happen to be mothers. And that, that because the way psilocybin works, I just don't think this medicine was ever even meant to be done in a vacuum. It's supposed to be done in community. You're supposed to gather, it's the mycelial web.
Um, and so mom just showed up one day in meditation, like a, Oprah moment. Like, I think God just dumped it in my head and I sat up and I was like, M O M, moms on mushrooms. I'm like, come on. Like, it's so good. Like, obviously someone's thought of it, you know? Especially with that humor in the background too, right?
Just seeing
[00:14:16] Michaela Carlin: that show up, but I love this idea of just going back to what you were saying. So at one point you're on stage kind of like. Yeah. Bringing levity to all the things that people don't talk about. And then with the mushrooms, it's kind of like saying, well, wait a second. We actually, there's some really serious things to talk about here.
What are the themes that are really important to mothers that we're not as a society addressing and how do we deal with those? Like.
[00:14:45] Music: Mm hmm.
[00:14:46] Michaela Carlin: The, like you just talked about, the sovereignty to know who you are, your own individuation outside of motherhood, the, the trance of unworthiness in these structures for mothers.
And you know, it's, it is interesting because for me, a lot of those themes really became quite amplified. with earth medicines. It's almost as if there's this call to women to be, to, to really hold their empowerment and truth and sovereignty in a completely different way that, that maybe women haven't been able to for a long time in history.
[00:15:25] Tracey Tee: I agree. And I think it carries our history. You know, the, I do these meditations, um, in our cohort. So I, I, moms, just to give a quick overview, mom is sort of, it's an educational platform and community. So we have a community space. That's basically like Facebook for moms on shrooms. That's all off social media where people can post and again, grow that web.
You can connect with other mothers. So if you're a mom, who's curious about, Oh, Earth medicines, but maybe doesn't want to follow hashtag psilocybin on Instagram, which is a terrible idea. Um, or just you're circling the pond, but you're not ready to dive in and you want somewhere trusted. Like you can, you can join our group.
There's a lot of resources and information. Um, and then we have cohort courses where three month containers with no more than 10 women to really go deep and provide a space for you to create a relationship. with this medicine and, um, create your own intentional, uh, way of working with it, which is what I think is the most important.
Um, so, uh, that when, inside of that we do these meditations and we always sort of focus on that mycelial web, but I truly believe that that web, this medicine carries our history. And to your point, we're tapping into. lifetimes of, of, of our ancestors, of women, of knowledge, um, of wisdom that we have been told we're not allowed to share or embody.
And there's something about it that just brings it out. Yeah. Of women. Gosh, you're just
[00:16:58] Michaela Carlin: like, I'm just feeling this huge smile come on my face as you're speaking because I mean, just take that, just take that idea that we truly are connecting to the mother's. of the past, of their history, of their deep desires and needs, and this deep drum, like I, I, a few ceremonies when I've come back after, when I'm like coming back into this reality, my hands are, I come back and my hands are pounding on my chest in almost like this beat.
Wow. And it feels almost like this beat from long ago that's being beat, like pounded back in of that remember, remember. Connect and remember, and there is something. So I'm so happy to find you. There is something about connecting with sisters on this path. There really is this and almost a new kind of sisterhood outside of kind of the, the relationships that women have had in kind of the patriarchal structure where there's the envy and the.
And not feeling truly supported, I think judgment, competition, competition, comparison, yeah, feeling awful after with a group, because then you're turning it in on yourself and thinking of all the ways maybe you feel like you're not measuring up and, and so this, this. This sound, this echo from the past, um, through the mushroom is really beautiful.
[00:18:26] Tracey Tee: It's beautiful. And if you think about how it's held in the womb of the great mother, right? It's down in that dark soil. And the mother, we walk on her. She gives us so much. And I, I have, I grew up in a very Christian conservative home and I'm very, still very God focused, big fan of Jesus. But what was left out of my upbringing was that.
We also have a great mother and that my connection to her and to this earth. I mean, again, the tears of our ancestors are in the soil that we walk on the bones, the blood, the laughter, the stories, it's all here. It doesn't go anywhere. It goes down into the earth and it's supposed to be remembered so that we learn from it.
not that we keep repeating it, but that we learn and that we create our own new stories. And, you know, and then bringing forward kind of the other thing you wanted to talk about, it became abundantly clear, the more I researched, the more I dove into this. First of all, all the teachers who appear to me were women and were also mothers.
You know, they just showed up as they do, as your teachers do. Um, and I didn't think that that was any Small coincidence, but I really looked at the broader scope. And where were the women in this conversation? Women and moms. I mean, maybe especially, there have been extraordinary women and there are extraordinary women.
Mm-hmm . In the psychedelic space right now that I look up to deeply. But mothers have been left out of this conversation forever. Yes. And, and we approach, we take this medicine differently. We just do de we're just, and it's interesting because just do it different,
[00:20:03] Michaela Carlin: you know, in some ways we're doing similar work.
I mean, I'm. You know, bringing the voices of mothers and de stigmatizing it for mothers because mothers have always been one of the most scrutinized populations. And I always think of how many times women get unsolicited. advice from outsiders and strangers that they don't even know about how to parent or their child needs a hat or whatever it is.
And so to create a space for mothers to choose for themselves how they want to be in relationship. to Mother Earth, to her medicines, how she wants to be in relationship to her body outside of the cultural norms, and to hear the echoes of the women of the past and also how to parent because largely. I don't know for you, but this has changed how I view my role as a mother, how I parent, looking at my own early conditioning and determining what to bring forward and what not to, and loving my mother deeply for what she did.
And what her generation was able and unable to do.
[00:21:15] Music: Mm-hmm .
[00:21:15] Michaela Carlin: But how would you say that Earth medicines have impacted you as a mother and how you show up as a mother? So for a mother out there that's like, Hmm. Moms on mushrooms, like these two ladies are crazy .
[00:21:28] Tracey Tee: Right, right. Crazy mushroom moms, like crazy mushroom moms.
Um, yeah. What would you say? It couldn't be further from crazy. Mm-hmm . Um, but. To, to be able to say that with authority has and is still taking me years of unlearning of and releasing, um, the story that I was told to embrace, um, and, and releasing the misinformation that has flooded our society about, about psychedelics.
And trusting my soul. And I think, um, before I can answer that question, as you were saying, you know, learning about the mother, getting close to the mother, the, the greatest thing though is, is, is your, is your reconnection to your soul, to who you really are to your heart. Mm-hmm . And then I was just, uh, talking with a dear soul sister, and we were talking about, we were talking about mushrooms, and she said, you know, for me it's just a direct, it's a direct source.
to the divine. It's a direct source. And that's how I feel. And so to be able to embrace that direct source. It's that direct gateway to God, or source, or whatever you want to call it. For me, it's God. And to, and to literally walk in a relationship in it, outside of the dogma, outside of what you think you should or shouldn't do, or having to go to this thing, or that thing, or show up with this person, or say this prayer, or whatever.
Just knowing it in your heart. That's freedom.
[00:22:55] Michaela Carlin: And that was really taken from women, really, like even when you think of all the traditional faith traditions.
[00:23:01] Tracey Tee: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:23:02] Michaela Carlin: There were some in the past. I love the Immortal, Immortality.
[00:23:07] Tracey Tee: Yeah.
[00:23:08] Michaela Carlin: Um, and I love some of the new, you know, historians out there at not new historians, but historians that are really bringing forth this knowledge of the women's role within faith traditions before.
And I think you're right, this direct. contact with whatever you call it, the sacred, the thousand names that cannot be named. Yeah. And women were kept out of that in many ways. And so
[00:23:34] Tracey Tee: were men. We all were in under the, under the definition of religion. We were all kept, right? We needed a middleman. We needed someone who was a little bit better than us.
To tell us what God's saying, but at the same time, you better have a relationship with God and Jesus, but only how I tell you how to do it. You couldn't possibly understand how to formulate that yourself. Um, and so that unlearning and coming to terms with that and the guilt and shame I felt and judgment I sometimes get from other people who aren't quite where I'm at, um, was a big deal.
But inside that, when you finally feel like you know who you are. That's all the good parts and all the bad parts. You can see it all clearly. Then as a mom, I show up to my kid without much of an agenda. I really feel like I just see her for who she is now, not for who I want her to be in the future or who I want her to be so that people think that I'm a good person.
I just see her for her. And, um, that means doing. Just about everything different than how I thought I would be as a mother. I, it all, it all went out the door and being open to doing even more things different. Um, because I look at her life as much as I can through her lens, not through my lens of what's right and what's wrong.
Now it's not to say we don't teach manners and being a good friend and communication and, you know, how to, how to be a. You know, contributing citizen in the world, those things are important to live in this 3D life, but she just doesn't, you know, she just doesn't beat to the same drum of the norms that she's been told, and to be able to accept that and be okay with it, even if it's like, oh, you know, some mom might not think I'm doing enough for her, I just don't care anymore because it's not about me, it's about her, it's not about me.
[00:25:43] Michaela Carlin: And it's not about filling the need within oneself. To feel the praise from a society that's conditioned us to want that. It's funny because you, you just were talking about your own conditioning. And I just started reading this book, um, Awaken. Um, It's Your Turn by Angelo, and I don't know Angelo's last name.
And I started to just recently work with him. And, um, his book talks about and he has videos online, but he talks about how deep the shadow goes. And, you know, after you do some of this work and you're like, Oh, I healed, you know, this, and I went into my shadow here. And it was very interesting. A couple of nights ago, I could just feel.
Like, really some of the tension in my body after kind of Easter celebrations, um, of the conditioning that is still quite, quite there to still be shed. And, and I was surprised, I was like, whoa, yeah, yeah, this stuff goes very deep.
[00:26:48] Tracey Tee: It goes very deep. And it, um, it must be so much pressure. It was, because we know this now, to put that pressure on a child to live up to what you need so that you feel like you can show up in the world to other adults.
It's almost cruel. If you think about it, really, if you think about it, rather than saying like, look at this miracle. Right. This miracle and, and this gift to this planet that they could become anything they, and they have, they are, they are the only one of them, like, let's let them be. Right. It's all of it.
It's interesting
[00:27:29] Michaela Carlin: too, um, in serving medicine, one of the things I'm noticing are some of the themes in the wounds that are recurring. And I would say one of the ones that's come up recently a lot in the clients that I work with is the performance, the damage that performance parenting does on a child.
It's so deep. So if you are a parent out there, um, And, and by the way, like, I did some of this. Oh, me too, girl. I came to psychedelics late. Oh, yeah. So I'm not saying like, oh, you know, by, by a long shot, I had to go through lots of um, layers of conditioning and I, I talk about as, I did so many things beautifully and I reprised some things that I would go back and tweak.
Totally. But it is one thing that has been really, awareness lately about how damaging it is to a soul when a child feels like They are just trying to so hard because they want to please parents so much. How, how damaging it is later on in life to be treating somebody with these medicines and see the deep wounds from wanting approval from parents from still from a young age and it's still being so embedded in their system.
Pretty profound.
[00:28:54] Tracey Tee: Yeah. And it's complicated, right? Like I, you know, this is. Part, partially why mom exists and when we talk in circle, you know, a lot, a lot that comes up and it's many times just everyone, myself included, just sitting around crying that there's nothing more tragic than raising a child. And there's nothing more triggering than raising a child.
[00:29:16] Michaela Carlin: No.
[00:29:16] Tracey Tee: Because you see I would say that it's the
[00:29:17] Michaela Carlin: most, it's the most powerful psychedelic on the planet. Oh, completely. Motherhood.
[00:29:21] Tracey Tee: Yeah. 100 percent. Because you're seeing, you see yourself. You see all your good things and all your big things, bad things manifest in this, this beautiful human that has their own right to, to, to, not be you, you know, but also to be also, but it's also good to be proud of what you did pass on.
Right. Like your strengths. Um, but to see it play out. So then, you know, especially, you know, I think mothers and daughters are especially triggering, you know, I mean, when my daughter isn't being her best self, I'm like, Oh, no, I know you, you know, like I know what you're doing and, um, it's so hard. And then it's so tragic.
It's so tragic to have to let it all unfold and to realize that you really can't control any of it. It's, it is the saddest story ever told and we should be okay with that. It is really sad.
[00:30:16] Michaela Carlin: Well, I think it's like both, right? Because and I think that's why I always say like motherhood's like a psychedelic.
It's the most powerful. Psychedelic on the planet, if psychedelic means soul revealing, right? It will reveal your soul like nothing else. And there's no microdose. This is a heroic dose that lasts your lifetime forever. It's an initiation like no other. It will take your body. It will take your blood. And it's the most ineffable, just like a psychedelic experience.
You can't put into words what it is like to have a moment with your own child. It's just. It's not
[00:30:54] Music: describable.
[00:30:54] Michaela Carlin: And what also is embedded in that is what you said. Also the aspects, it's the full story. You think of like Mother Earth who holds cyclones and morning rain equitably, right? And as mothers to learn how to do that is so difficult.
Like you just said, when your daughter or your child is struggling, how do you hold that as a mother and not be. deeply in pain and want to change it and, um, rescue. I was a big rescuer, so I love to rescue. So, um, it is such a powerful role. Um, and I'm so grateful that you're creating a space for mothers who are doing this deep work to go into the soil of what is there.
from the past currently so that they can bring forth different kinds of relationships with their daughters and children. It's so powerful.
[00:31:50] Tracey Tee: It is. And, and on the positive side, okay, let's talk about something that's a real gift when you, I think that the medicine gave me, you know, every, you know, one of the, if not the number one thing everyone feels when they work with psychedelics is connection to all things.
And then like that love, like you've never felt love before, you know, and as a mom, you're like, okay. Top my love, right? Come on,
[00:32:15] Michaela Carlin: you know, try
[00:32:16] Tracey Tee: to explain that one to me, try. Um, but there is, it's more expansive, but unlearning for me letting go of holding back that love. And being able to just be in love with my daughter and, and hold that expansive space for her and not say she doesn't deserve it or if I give her too much, she's going to turn out bad or, you know, she's being spoiled like, and to express my love to her, um, with words that maybe she's not even ready to hear yet, but, but are from my soul.
That's a gift because I'm not scared. I mean, we've so many of us were brought up. afraid to show love to our children, my parents. I mean, my, both my parents have told me stories about how their parents never even said, I love you. So what a gift for me to just put all that aside and just be like, Oh, like, you know, um, despite it
[00:33:17] Michaela Carlin: all, you know, it's so interesting to like, even the other piece of like, we didn't have the languaging.
of years ago to even know like our bodies can co regulate our child, like we can use our system when they're all hyped up to just go and just kind of breathe and co regulate them. And I think of even that some of the benefits that come out of doing our own work and deeply understanding these bonds, um, and what kind of attachment styles we come from and what a trauma bond is and how to What you just said like ultimately show love in a way that is so expansive that Nothing is held back in that.
[00:33:59] Tracey Tee: Yeah, and the back to the sovereignty part I was just talking about this with another beautiful soul sister just this morning who works in this space and to be able to trust You're knowing of what's right for your kid. You're knowing how to co regulate. You know, I do things with my daughter instinctively now because I allow myself to do them.
Like the breathing and, you know, like, you know, and to say, I don't need to go read a book. I'm not saying the books are bad. I'm just saying we have it all inside us. And to give yourself permission to trust your intuition, because your third eye is opening because you're working with this medicine. Your heart is opening because you're working with this medicine.
My course follows the chakras, not because I think it's woo and cute. It's because there are energy centers that we need to unlock to allow ourselves to be present. And when you start to trust yourself and you feel that freedom of knowing. You are automatically going to be a better parent because you're not going to give a flying one what Susie down the street says you should do.
You're going to know what to do. And there's no, there's no hesitancy in that. It's pure trust.
[00:35:09] Michaela Carlin: Mm hmm. And that is a rewiring, don't you think? Yeah. Oh gosh, yeah. Because we are conditioned to just automatically, it's that neuropathway of like, um, let me ask my doctor. Let me ask this person. And, uh, I don't have anything
[00:35:23] Tracey Tee: behind my name, you know, so therefore I couldn't possibly know it.
I don't have a master's in this, so therefore I don't know. Yeah.
[00:35:29] Music: Mm hmm.
[00:35:31] Michaela Carlin: So what would you say if you kind of looked at like the You know, I don't know, top things that earth medicines have taught you. in relationship to being a woman and a mother. What would those be?
[00:35:48] Tracey Tee: I could go a few different ways with this.
The first three words that came to mind are surrender, courage, and compassion, sovereignty. And inside that True freedom, true freedom. Um, I was able to disconnect all these cords that we have to this outside world that tells me who to be. I, I lovingly just cut them all. And I just am me for the most part.
Or at least I've had feelings of those things. So that freedom and sovereignty, that's kind of one thing. And then, um, forgiveness and love. So I don't know. I'm, I'm seeing like buckets show up in my brain,
[00:36:35] Michaela Carlin: but. And that all makes sense. And you know, it's interesting, like sovereignty is a word I never said prior to psychedelics.
[00:36:41] Tracey Tee: No one ever did. Never.
[00:36:42] Michaela Carlin: I mean,
[00:36:43] Tracey Tee: yeah, it's, it's, you have to say it when you're in the psychedelic space, like you have to say it often, but it took me a long time to understand it.
[00:36:49] Michaela Carlin: The, the deep understanding of it and, you know, even for my kids, when they were kind of asking like, what in the world are you doing?
Right. Like, usually it's the child doing something outside of a norm and the parent saying, what are you doing? But in my case, it was the opposite. Yeah.
[00:37:06] Tracey Tee: Oh yeah.
[00:37:07] Michaela Carlin: And so, you know, to even express like, well, what it has taught me and the deep sovereignty and they said, you use that word a lot. And I'm like, because once you feel it.
You can't unfeel
[00:37:21] Tracey Tee: it, you, it's, it's like, it gets unlocked. It's just like a little, little light switch that goes on, but it can't go back down. And um, it's so hard to describe until you, until you figure it out. It's like when you finally learn. What's, I used to hate this word, I still kind of hate it, self love.
When you finally learn what that is, like to learn to love yourself, it's so far beyond going to get a mani pedi or like, self care, self care, or like cutting someone out of my life. Like, it's. So deep. It's so much deeper and I'm still, I'm still embracing it, but like, I get it. Like I get the gift that I, I get, I get the gift that this life is and that I have to respect it because to not respect it, to not honor it and to feel it and cherish it would be the, the biggest F you to the universe you could possibly do, you know, so you like you can't.
So like when you finally figure out those words, you're like, Oh, that's why everyone says it. Right.
[00:38:26] Michaela Carlin: And it probably is, I know in my own experience of earth medicines, is it's, and my kids say you always say that, I always say it's layers and layers and they're like, Oh my God, here's mom. Mom, shut up. It's layers and layers.
And I'm like, but it really is, it's like layers and layers of knowing yourself. Layers and layers of conditioning that falls away and then layers and layers of self love. And it's funny you don't like that word self love. I always think of self love as like almost the, I don't know what spiritual kind of like um, teaching self love because if you don't love yourself, then you're, you're really projecting all the ways you don't love yourself onto the world.
And all of your ways that you don't love yourself show up. in your relationships in really unconscious ways. And. You know, and again, when I say layers and layers, it means I'm still in process, you know. Totally. Um, it's, it's not like, Oh, I think that's another thing of realizing the layers and layers of awakening, um, that you can have like these amazing awakenings and psychedelic experiences, but to be truly liberated, I think there's still like very few people on the planet that have reached this level of like true, true, true liberation, but there are degrees.
of it. And psychedelics are certainly, um, I don't know, maybe, maybe they speed that path up. Maybe they, I think they do. Um, I think they can,
[00:40:00] Tracey Tee: you know, I think, right. And I think they're here now because we need it more than ever. Um, and I think people are seeing that, like we need, we need help. We're
[00:40:16] Music: too
[00:40:17] Tracey Tee: dense and we're too far gone in.
This hierarchical age of reason, it all needed to happen. You know, the Piscine age was amazing. We made a lot of progress. Think I got no problem with doctors, generally speaking, you know, like I get it, like a lot of good things happen and a lot of bad things happened. You know, we forgot a lot of things and we, we, we disconnected from a lot of things and we just spent hundreds and hundreds, thousands of years up here in our heads and we forgot about our hearts and we, it's not sustainable as a society to live in our heads and live in an age, you know, Charles Eisenstein, like we cannot live with the story of separation anymore.
We cannot, we will, we will, we will destroy ourselves. Yes.
[00:41:04] Michaela Carlin: Yes. Yeah. And you were talking earlier about the mycelium web, right? We are meant to be, we are interbeings, that word. We are. I think that's another huge lesson from Earth Medicines is there's, I interviewed someone recently who's a medicine woman and she said, you know, I asked her, what are the most profound things that psychedelics taught you?
And she said, we're all one. It's, it's not a logo on a t shirt. You actually experience, it's the, it's the experience of these deep truths that have been carried down for generations. It's actually like feeling them viscerally in your system. Um, so that's.
[00:41:44] Tracey Tee: And I was going to say for someone who has a crushing guilt complex like I do, I don't know where I got it.
I've had it my whole life. I think it's first child, I'm type A, I'm an overachiever, uh, and it just was, it's just in me. Um, so for someone, and I, I recently sort of come to realize that especially with all my health problems, I've just sort of disassociated from my body.
[00:42:07] Music: Probably
[00:42:07] Tracey Tee: my whole life until maybe like a year ago.
And even now I'm like, okay, I have to like, I have to tell myself like, you can feel your fingers, you can feel your legs. Like that's how basic I'm starting from scratch. So self love is actually very, very difficult for me.
[00:42:24] Michaela Carlin: That is definitely a familiar path for me, by the way, like I was completely disassociated from my body to the point where I, I remember bragging, like, I don't feel pain.
Right.
[00:42:34] Tracey Tee: Oh yeah. I used to, yeah, I used to be, there was like a, why do you have
[00:42:38] Michaela Carlin: such a high threshold? Oh yeah.
[00:42:39] Tracey Tee: High threshold for pain. Yeah. It was like a, like a badge I got to wear. It's a badge. So, so for someone like me and maybe you too, who has a hard time with the self love piece, What the medicine has taught me, talking about the love and the oneness.
Um, and I think that's a really important part of this is that even if I don't feel love for myself, the compassion and love I feel in connection to everything else. By default, I have to love myself because to your point, whatever I do is a reflection on other people. So like, I, I've got to keep it together, you know,
[00:43:11] Music: because,
[00:43:12] Tracey Tee: you know, and so it's a nice, for me, it's like, okay, I may not get that part.
I may never feel that part a hundred percent, but at least I can, I can know what it feels like to love everything. It doesn't mean I do it all the time. It doesn't mean I don't struggle. Um, but I, I have sensed it and that, that connection, that web is not going to leave me. And so that oneness. That oneness comes back to me, whether I want to, want it, not.
[00:43:39] Michaela Carlin: Exactly. And I think, again, it's layers and layers. So I remember, you know, even in the realization that I was disconnected to my body, if someone had said that to me like five years ago, I'd be like, what are you talking about? I'm not disconnected to my body. And then realizing, like, even as a woman. That is where our intuition lies.
So, as soon as I started to allow my body to come back online, at first, it's really uncomfortable because it's all the things, all the emotions stored. It's probably why I've disconnected in the first place was like that, that trance. Like, well, if I don't feel it, it's not really there. So, as soon as those layers start to come back and you start to feel like sensation, I was like, Oh my God, I felt the anxiety for the first time after earth medicines and was like, these things are bad.
Like I never had anxiety before, but it was the, it was my body saying like, well right now it's kind of a time you might want to feel anxious. I'm giving you a little single signal here and the discomfort started to be a mechanism that I could trust that these weren't just. Emotional things happening in my body and sensations, they were showing me things.
Clues. Clues. How are you feeling in this space? Feeling good? Or not? And when you start, like, I just noticed the more and more I go into my body, out of my head, like you just talked, out of my head, out of my head, what is my body telling me? Because my body has always known five years, 10 years in advance of what my brain knew.
Oh my gosh, it's so true. Right? So, and I think the self love piece is the more those little girl parts get held and reparented and re acclimated into the system and integrated through the system is when deeper layers of that love come back online. That's been my experience.
[00:45:37] Tracey Tee: But just acknowledging. Just acknowledging how your body feels in the moment, that's self love like, okay, I'm just in, and gosh, this comes up so often in classes because, and I know this is a big conversation in the psychedelic space and I'm not, I tread lightly on it because we, there is a very fine edge between psychedelics that can amplify existing debilitating anxiety and that is not to be, not be taken seriously.
Um, and, and psychedelics aren't for everyone for that. specific point. And then there is this edge of amplified anxiety to just, you nailed it so perfectly, to show you, to give you an indication of what's wrong and what's not working. And we are, I think as a culture, especially as women, it's. Especially as mothers, we are so resistant to pain and to feeling uncomfortable, to feeling uncomfortable in our own skin, to challenge and then to, to, to acknowledge it on top of it for, Oh my God, I don't have time for that.
I gotta go to, I
[00:46:40] Michaela Carlin: gotta go to baseball game. Like you know, after two of my body started coming online, Oh my God. So as I started to begin to heal some of my own childhood stuff. Um, you know, you can go to an ayahuasca ceremony and whatever, and you like purge. Um, but what happened to me after like leaving those spaces, I might be in a setting and I, or going something's coming and I'm like burping this like purgy burp.
Yeah. And I was like, okay, that's beautiful.
[00:47:09] Tracey Tee: That's really common. I didn't know that. I know so many deeply spiritual people who are big burpers and farters.
[00:47:19] Michaela Carlin: So anyway, I was, I was sitting there one day and like a lot of times that has happened either in a therapy session or by myself where I'm like, whoa, okay, I'm processing this and realizing it's processing.
And it was interesting because then one day I was with my daughter and we were having a conversation and I started burping. And she was like, what is that? And I said, I'm, my body is telling me that right now, like I'm not comfortable. Like there's, there's communication in the way that it's actually happening and how it's getting expressed.
Like my system is uncomfortable. And so like. She was like, whoa, . And, um, yeah. It was very, very ing. She's like, can we leave the mall? This is embarrassing. . Just joking. . Yeah. And I'm like, you know, it's an indicator. So let's, let's bring some truth to what I'm feeling and oh gosh, what
[00:48:10] Tracey Tee: an amazing gift. Like, to, to know that.
I mean, talk about a clue. Mm-hmm. I'm a pooper . Whenever I have like a big purge, like, or I have like a big, like aha realization or a big energy session or session that's like vaguely, you know. Right. There it is. Like, I'm like, gotta go. And, and then I'm like, and that, and we're done with this lesson. Like that's, it just left in the toilet.
I got it.
[00:48:33] Michaela Carlin: Got it. Got it. It's so interesting how our bodies truly are. These mechanisms of such wisdom for us.
[00:48:40] Tracey Tee: No! It's really crazy. never, ever, ever told even a modicum of it. Because that's power. You can't control. Anyone who's in control of her or his own body, you just can't. No, no. There's, because you don't need to.
And so there's a lot, like there's no businesses, there's a lot, there's not a lot of businesses there. You know,
[00:49:04] Michaela Carlin: when you, and how about like teaching your children and I didn't do this. 'cause again, I came to psychedelics later. I mean, I do this now, like even I can even now, when. Something's happening in a conversation, say, I get, I know it's the child, right?
It's the child activated and say, like, I know that that's a child part and I'm sorry if I had any part in developing that protector part or whatever that child is in need of right now. Um, but let's, let's work on that. Let's dive into that underlying thing that's actually happening in, in the space right now.
Okay. But to raise your child to like, feel like, oh, I'm feeling discomfort and to first know how to self regulate it, second, to actually name it, know what it is, um, it's such power. Like you said, it's such power. And if that's all
[00:49:59] Tracey Tee: I, if that's all I do is so Evie doesn't have to be as effed up as I was, like mission accomplished.
How old is she, your daughter? She's 12. Oh my goodness. Um, and it's, yeah, you know, I, and she's a, she's just like her mom. She's a massive empath. She feels things in her body, head to toe. She feels things in her heart. She feels energy in a room it, and she's a, she's a, she's infinitely wiser than I ever was and probably ever will be.
And so I can see, you see her energy shift when she's affected by something. And to just be able to say, okay, how is this feeling in your body? What do you need right now? Do we need to go away? Do we, do you need to be alone? Do we need to breathe? Do we need to get out the selenite wand and cut cords? Do we need to pray?
Do we need to call in our angels? Like what do we need to do? Um. Um. Um. Um, those, I am proud that those are gifts I'm giving her, you know, because when she goes out in this crazy world, that's only getting crazier. She knows how to protect herself. I hope she'll learn, you know, or at least she'll realize later down when she stops rolling her eyes at me that
[00:51:11] Michaela Carlin: there's some wisdom in it.
There's some
[00:51:12] Tracey Tee: wisdom there. Yeah. But part of that is back to the beginning of like honoring her too and me saying, okay, you know what? I wanted to do this, this, and this, but you're not with me anymore. We're going to go back home and you're going to go in your room and read your book because that's what you need.
And the rest of the stuff isn't important. That's that's just me wanting to keep control of the situation, you know?
[00:51:31] Michaela Carlin: Yep. I think one of the things that I've learned, like I said, I was a rescuer because I think if I couldn't feel my own discomfort, I certainly don't want to feel the discomfort of my child because that's like a double whammy.
Right. So. I think, so then I would try to rescue and just the realization now of even having The, just to say, how can I support you? Yeah. That's a huge shift of just like what do you need and how can I support you versus what if you did this and how about this and you're feeling anxious, so why don't we do this?
You know, it's just like, what do you need? And they're, they're older so they can put language to those things and, um, but even that shift in parenting that came from. work with psychedelics and earth medicines. Oh,
[00:52:16] Tracey Tee: totally. And I was a take it on the chinner, right? Like, Oh, you're fine. You know, that's my family's like favorite word, like phrase, like you're fine.
And again, that, that badge of high threshold for pain,
[00:52:28] Music: take
[00:52:28] Tracey Tee: it, keep going perseverance. Those aren't all bad quality. Those are great qualities, but not to the point where you crash and burn. Like I'm famous for doing, you know, your, my body would just shut down eventually. Um, So for me, instead of, you know, where you're like the rescuer, my default is.
Oh, you're fine. You're fine. You can do it. Come on. Be tough. Like, and, and so I have to be like, stop saying that. She's in pain. You know, it's okay. It's okay for her to
[00:52:56] Michaela Carlin: cry. It's fine. So how long have you been in the, how long have you been doing mom? And what have you seen as you've. Put this out into the world.
What are some of the experiences that you've had?
[00:53:11] Tracey Tee: Um, mom is just a year old. I started, um, I, I kind of launched officially in March of 2022. Um, and we're kind of at our, I think we're around our 220th. mom that's gone through a three month course. Um, so what I've seen has been proof, I have only, I can only take it as confirmation that this medicine is, is the way for some of us.
Some people, yeah. Because Uh, every moment I start to question myself or think, what are you doing? Are you, have you lost your mind? Did you get duped? Are you in a cult and you don't know it? I'll, I'll get confirmation after confirmation. I'll just talk and I, and all I do is talk to moms. Like all you have to do is talk to moms.
And uh, I hear the stories and in bringing it back to the Pompidou show, I've heard these stories for 10 years of separation, of disconnection, of anguish, of overwhelm, of anxiety, of loneliness. Um, I hear them today every single day. And the idea that there might be an option for something different, like it's like, Women, they didn't even know that that was possible, you know?
And so I've, I've really experienced a profound amount of support and love and encouragement and like this space. Um, I'm a third generation entrepreneur, you know, and a lot of what I'm working on right now is like. leaning into my yin energy, maybe laying off the masculine a little bit, like, that's gotten me far, but like, I'm an Aries, I'm an eight, like, I'm so cliche, it's depressing.
I'm doing,
[00:54:59] Michaela Carlin: I'm the opposite. I'm trying to lean into the masculine side a little bit. You can have all of mine
[00:55:04] Tracey Tee: that you want. I've got plenty to share with everyone. Um, and. And to, so this space is just so welcoming and so supportive and encouraging and giving. And it's been such a gift to like run a business without my ego driving the ship.
[00:55:27] Michaela Carlin: It's interesting what you just said. Um, I. I can, it resonates with me when you were just talking about when I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah. Really? A psychedelic mom? Like what? How'd that happen? And, and also serving medicine, right? So that's a huge, huge undertaking, huge work, huge, huge on the body. Very physical.
Um, and every now and then when I'm like, Hmm, do these really work? And every time I sit with somebody or we do like a, a monthly group with all the people that we've served medicine to, I just get off and I think that was so incredibly profound. And in some ways I'm like, that sounded like an infomercial, but also knowing that it isn't for everybody.
And our health form is like, Crazy, really, really, really, really careful. Totally. And one of the things I'm finding too recently is, and maybe it's just psychedelics are doing something collectively, because one of the things I'm noticing is the less need for medicine and that a lot of this kind of work of healing some of this deep stuff is happening in kind of like the prep sessions of even getting to the medicine and then it's like, Hmm, do you need to Like, I think of earth medicines as bringing us, bringing the awareness of what's outside our conscious awareness.
And what I'm noticing recently is the conscious awareness may have expanded. The, like, because I'll be getting somebody ready for a medicine journey and I'll think, huh. It's all right there for you. It's no longer hidden as we do this somatic work. Doesn't make sense to actually go in and amplify what's already, you already have access to.
So I am noticing that as well. Like there's some shifts also happening maybe collectively where the sensitivity is like clearly we're all seeing the collective shadows out in the world, which is beautiful and ugly and terrifying and terrifying. And, but I am noticing that maybe, maybe in this, more is brought to the surface of each of us and more is able to be seen within the conscious mind.
And this is actually just coming to me as I'm saying this. I'm loving this. I've been thinking about this this week as, you know, with one of our clients. I said, you know, I don't, I don't necessarily think you need medicine. I think we should do more of this. It's right there for you. So to just go in and re traumatize and feel it more amplified.
It doesn't really make sense right now. And so I love that piece too.
[00:58:22] Tracey Tee: And I love that temperance. And I just want to give a shout out to moms and the majority of mothers in the moms on mushrooms community because I see that constantly. I've never seen a group of more responsible, more like, uh, tempered people ever, if anything.
The, the, um, awareness and the hesitation to take advantage of this medicine to the point where I'm almost like, you know, you can't take it more than two days a week. You know, like you're, you're taking 50 milligrams. Everyone's going to be okay, you know?
[00:58:56] Music: Right.
[00:58:56] Tracey Tee: But, um, but that's a real, it's a really big.
Uh, nod to the awareness that, that mothers are in my space are having and saying, I, this is enough and stopping there in a society that is always like more is more fill it up. Big goal, bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger. If you're on this cruise ship, you can go on this one. If you can buy this computer, you can buy this one, um, to say, you know what, I'm going to, I'm just going to stop at my 50 milligrams and take it twice a week.
And I, and being very aware, you know what I took it. I took it today, but I didn't really need to. I'm learning a lesson from that. Like I see it constantly.
[00:59:34] Michaela Carlin: Yes. And also, yeah, what you're saying too, like the, first of all, they're building intuition, right? Do I need it versus like the glass of wine that just becomes the thing or the microdose just becomes the thing.
So as mothers, I think one of the other things that is so critical to think about, and I was thinking about this with this client. is do you have the space for all your emotions to be amplified at this time? Right now your life seems quite busy with these three children and your career. And so if we go in and we amplify, do you actually have the space right now to do the integration, to do the self care, to take on what it's going to mean to soothe your body in this system that might flare?
And I think that's a big piece too, is just knowing where you are in your life? And do you have the space for everything to be bubbling up and amplified at this time?
[01:00:34] Tracey Tee: I love that. I agree. Um, this is where I differ from my mentor, my main mentor specifically, because that's why I think the busy Western mother should start with microdosing first to create a relationship with the medicine.
Because I think we are in so many ways, so destabilized. that to amplify it to your point, and to bring three to five grams of a powerful, powerful medicine and to lay you out for one to two days minimum after. To feel untethered possibly because something comes out. To feel untethered have to have to be expanded.
All the things, even if it was like the most amazing thing to have Those downloads show up like to not be able to integrate them and understanding your brain, your brain literally explodes like, you know, um, if you don't have a relationship to the medicine in some context, I think we're, we, we run the risk of.
It being a bad trip, quote unquote, but also, um, like the mama bear in me doesn't want someone to blame the medicine because you just weren't ready for the medicine. Like it wasn't the medicine's fault that you didn't have the experience you wanted it, but it might be that you just didn't have the relationship or the context to understand what just happened to you.
And so Or the space to really go in,
[01:01:56] Michaela Carlin: cause like we know deep trauma can come up, repressed memories can come up. What do you do in that when you didn't actually consider that maybe this is a really important journey that's going to take some time? Like, you don't know what's going to come up. I had someone say recently, and they were talking about bufo medicine, but I think it's true of all psychedelics.
She said, like, you can't consciously consent. And I said, well, what do you mean? She's like, well, I had no idea what was going to happen. I had no idea the ways I was going to change. I had no idea the things that were going to drop away and the things that were going to be magnified. And I'm like, you know what?
It's actually true. It's totally true. You can't consciously consent. It's totally true. Sorry. No, that going in. You can't consciously consent to something that we, our conscious mind. has no clue what's going to happen. It's so
[01:02:47] Tracey Tee: true. It's beautifully put. Yeah. It's so true. And so I think, um, and inside that
[01:02:55] Music: we have
[01:02:56] Tracey Tee: to unlearn that we don't deserve to give ourselves space for that integration or for that healing, you know, like we're, and I think what microdosing does for moms is.
Shows you where the space is too crowded. And then little by little you just start saying, You know what? I'm just not going to sign little Bobby up for piano. He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't need it. We're busy. I don't want to go. We're just going to say no. And, uh, I'm going to say no to that party because I don't want to go, I'm going to stay home and I'm going to take a bath and I'm going to trust everyone's going to live for an hour.
And little by little your space, the world, your world starts opening up and you can breathe again and it's not that pressure on your chest. And you start to see what you really want to do and what you want to do with your family and for your kids and with your kids and, you know, um, to support your kids and the other stuff, you give yourself permission for it to fall away.
And then you have the space to heal. Then you can say, I will take a Saturday and I will book a hotel room after this, this journey so that I can wake up in journal or whatever, you know? But until you can give yourself permission, the guilt and the nervousness around it, it's too much. Totally.
[01:04:14] Michaela Carlin: So, if we both talked about now, just so if someone hasn't microdosed and they're curious, I can say a couple of things that I have seen with clients.
In particular mothers, and maybe you could do the same. Um, sometimes I'm really blown away by what comes up. Sometimes there is discomfort. Sometimes there's this feeling of like, oh, I don't know. I don't know, am I supposed to feel this way? I'm feeling a little nauseous. And it's like, um, um. Give it a little time.
Um, I see people that have, say things like, I've been wanting to go to yoga class for like a year and I just couldn't get myself to do it. And I micro dosed yesterday and went to yoga and I didn't even really think about it. Um, um, I have new language, suddenly like new words are showing up. In make, helping me communicate in ways that I didn't have before, or I got this real insight while I was sitting with my child that I didn't have, or I had a new self awareness of the way I interact with my child.
These are some of the things that I'm hearing, or it helped my mood. I always find that I can be kind of, Moody or something. So those are some of the things that I have heard. What are some of the things that you have heard about microdosing in motherhood?
[01:05:34] Tracey Tee: Yeah, very similar. Um, I hear a lot of people say like, I feel softer.
Um, and I think a lot of people just say like this. It's, this is softer. And I imagine it's our frayed edges that are so exposed to the world and they're just constantly being, you know, and it all just sort of softens. And when that happens, again, you can breathe and you can, you can think clearly for a hot second.
And yeah. Presence. Uh, presence, um, presence without anxiety because it actually takes a lot of work to be present and not overthink it.
[01:06:15] Music: Um,
[01:06:15] Tracey Tee: and we, again, presence requires us to, um, release distractions, put down our phone, look people in the eyes, feel your feelings, think your thoughts, say your words. These are skills that we are losing actually pretty rapidly right now, um, because we, we cover it up with.
Noise and distraction and so being calm in your presence and just being like, oh, I played with my kid and I didn't hate it Because you weren't, like, look, and, you know, no one really likes playing Legos, and I hated doing crafts when my daughter, you know, hated it. It's not my thing. But, like, you can, you can, like, withstand it without that, like, err, um, clarity of thought.
Again, I think that comes back to presence to come, comes back to breathing and space, um, and, and being empowered to allow your thoughts to, um, be true for you and, um, And creativity is, I hear from so many mothers. I just went downstairs and I just started painting. I haven't painted in five years. I just started writing music.
I just started playing my guitar again. Uh, I'm, I'm writing again. I'm just, I can't stop journaling. Um, wow. We, you know, things that are human needs of, of just. That we need just to to be in this world. We are creative beings. So for me, you know, one of my big things is like permission granted and it's permission to just be back to be a human again.
And for, for moms, I think microdosing helps you put the mom, the mom badge just over to the side a little bit and not just fully immerse yourself in it. And then when you start to realize that you're a woman, a human, Um, man, do you realize you
[01:08:03] Michaela Carlin: have possibilities? And also like, I think those aspects of ourselves as women that we tend to am, amputate, like the parts of ourselves that weren't really allowed in the space.
And suddenly there's that connection to when you said put the mother part aside, all of a sudden you're opening up. I'm going to be talking about the full spectrum of who you are and speaking from a full spectrum of who you are, all aspects of yourself. And I had a daughter recently who said to me, Mom, just stay in the box.
I know, right? Totally. And I was like, uh, no, I've opened up the box and there's no putting me back in the box. Okay. We're going to stay out of the box.
[01:08:47] Tracey Tee: My daughter's always just like, Mom, I got it. Like, I got it. Like,
[01:08:52] Music: I
[01:08:52] Tracey Tee: get it. Oh my gosh. It's so funny. But no, but how much more, how much more fun is it to be a mom when you're a multidimensional person?
Like that's parenting. Like
[01:09:06] Michaela Carlin: that's. Yeah, that's fully living. That's fully living. And I think when you were talking earlier about these medicines carry the wisdom of the past, I'm sure there was a huge voice of women of the past saying reclaim all the aspects of yourself. Do not, like I always use this word, psychocliptic, so psychedelic meaning soul revealing and psychocliptic meaning soul concealing.
And I look at life through that lens, like what aspects of motherhood have been soul revealing to me and what aspects have. required me to conceal my truth, conceal aspects of myself in this culture of how mothers are supposed to show up. And so sometimes in medicine, I hear that cry of like, these are our voices.
These are our voices to women of this time to say, find your sovereignty, fully activate all aspects of yourself. Don't amplify. Amputate parts of yourself for cultural norms or for your conditioning, like this is the time to be fully alive. This is the, this is what all we know right now is women. We got this life, maybe many more, but you have this life, these children, and in some ways living more fully, a full spectrum of self is really the greatest gift we can give them.
[01:10:32] Music: Oh my gosh. Because we then
[01:10:32] Michaela Carlin: give you, you keep using that word. We suddenly give them the permission. To do the same. That's powerful.
[01:10:40] Tracey Tee: That, and that changes
[01:10:42] Michaela Carlin: everything.
[01:10:44] Tracey Tee: That changes everything.
[01:10:45] Michaela Carlin: That's when I'm like, truly when I think about it, I'm like, Thank you, plant medicines. Thank you, earth medicines.
Because they gave me that. They gave me those points of views. They gave me the visceral feeling of all of this. Amen. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you so much for being here. This is so much fun. I'm thinking that you're going to have a show someday that's on the road and it's a comedy about a, you know, psychedelic mom and moms on mushrooms.
And I keep telling
[01:11:15] Tracey Tee: my best friend, I'm like, when are you writing this show? I mean, there's a lot to laugh about. And I think that's important too. Like we, this shit can get real serious and like, let's, let's all, let's all just, Like, have a laugh, because it's pretty, I mean, we're weird, humans are weird, it's all weird.
Totally. We're sitting here talking about dried up mushrooms that taste like crap, like, I get it. There's a lot to laugh about. That are
[01:11:38] Michaela Carlin: the decomposers of the world, and somehow they're teaching us. Okay. Super grateful. Also, it's kind of funny. Yeah. Totally. I think of that too sometimes with, um, Bufo Toad Medicine.
I'm like, really? You hid the God molecule in a toad? Like, really?
[01:11:54] Tracey Tee: And we, we don't think God doesn't have a sense of humor, you know? Right. Yeah. Exactly. Totally. So how can people reach you? Uh, momsonmushrooms. com. It's all right there. Um, and I'm on Instagram, kind of reluctantly, and that's, uh, Moms on Mushrooms Official.
Uh, but try to keep up on that and at least disseminate information. Um, sign up for our newsletter and join our community if you just want to start somewhere. It's four bucks a month. It's, it used to be slightly less than a latte. Now I think it's like two, like, that's like a third of a latte, you know? So I'm committed to keeping it affordable and accessible and um, and none of this, none of this is about me.
It's about, it's about all of us. So the more my, my, my prayer is that we have a million moms come and stand behind this medicine. And, um, maybe, um,
[01:12:49] Michaela Carlin: um,
[01:12:50] Tracey Tee: a
[01:12:51] Michaela Carlin: million mom March. March. Mom's on Mushroom March at some point. Maybe not a march. How about just like a bonfire?
[01:13:00] Tracey Tee: I was like, can we, can we just have some drums and like a potluck, like some really good food?
[01:13:05] Michaela Carlin: Can everybody bring something, please?
[01:13:07] Tracey Tee: Bring something. It's going to have to be in the summer. We don't want bad weather. Kids are welcome, but the food's got to be like legit good. Yeah. And, uh, I think when we, when we all start to come out of this room closet, when we all stand behind this medicine
[01:13:22] Music: in
[01:13:22] Tracey Tee: our own ways, um, I believe that we change the narrative of our past.
Like we've been talking about, um, we. repave the course of our future, you know, uh, for me, that is, that is new earth. That is what the lesson that I think God, you know, that's in the Bible, that's in the Koran, that's in all the things that's, that's the lesson, the, the, the game that we're supposed to, to finish.
And in the center of that, we have a chance to raise our children. Um, and, um, when we do that, there will, there won't be any war. And I think moms are the ones to, moms, when we, when we stand behind it and, uh, we lead with our, we lead with love, like all this other craziness, it can't exist. It goes away. Yeah.
[01:14:15] Michaela Carlin: Well, thank you so much. It's such a wonderful conversation with you.
[01:14:19] Tracey Tee: Thank you. This has been absolutely delightful. I'm really honored to be on your podcast. Thank you. Yeah.
for having me.