For anyone who may not consider themselves “spiritual” or “hippy dippy” and who may consider themselves to be leading more of a conventional life, Tracey acts as an incredible bridge between suburban society and the sacred. | listen on Spotify
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[00:00:00] Tracey Tee: We raise our daughter now around this medicine. She's we don't ever lie to her. She knows exactly when mom goes and does a journey. She knows the lingo. She knows we talk about it with sacredness and intention, and it would be. an honor to introduce this to her at a time where her mind is so confused and to have her have access to clarity and whatever lessons she's supposed to learn to give that gift to our children.
Before they just go off and drink themselves into oblivion in college or just run. You're, you have to be listless in life. It's part of our transformation, but I think having this ally and knowing that it's there for you and knowing how to use it wisely but also knowing how to use it. But for fun and how to just have a beautiful, joyful life and an expansive experience within that container.
Yes, please. I'm all about that.
[00:00:55] Mackenzie River: Welcome to the Mama Psychedelia podcast. My name is Mackenzie and we are here to de stigmatize through storytelling. We are a home for education and enrichment through conversations that center intuition, ancestral guidance, and medicines of the earth. Mama Psychedelia is in service to sovereignty, welcoming parents and educators to share their lived experiences and perspectives on ceremony, entheogenic allyship, The intuitive realms, trauma healing, ritual, rites of passage, birth, death, and beyond.
This is not a space to persuade, prescribe, or preach. We are not licensed medical or mental health professionals. Nothing said here is medical advice. We don't promote or advocate for the use of illegal substances. We simply wish to hold space for education, harm reduction, and medicine work that have long histories of use in cultures worldwide.
Together, we explore the magic, light and dark, and healing that can come through the childbearing continuum. My wish is that each episode may broaden your horizons, bring healing, expansion, revelation, and understanding. May you follow your own inner compass. The mother's heartbeat,
in this episode of the Mama Psychedelia podcast, I interview a mama named Tracey Tee. Tracey has actively been involved in the mama sphere for over 10 years. First co creating and starring in the nationally touring cult hit comedy show for moms, The Pump and Dump Show, while simultaneously co producing Band of Mothers podcast and serving as co founder and CEO of the Pump and Dump Show's umbrella brand, Band of Mothers Media.
So during the pandemic and during her own journey with psilocybin for the first time, Tracey began to feel called to support moms in a deeper and more meaningful way. In 2022, she launched her online microdosing course created exclusively for moms called MOM. which stands for moms on mushrooms. Tracey's goal is to bring moms together through the sacred use of plant medicine for a shared journey of personal growth and healing.
I highly recommend this episode for anyone out there that may find themselves a little skeptical or wondering how plant medicine use could possibly be integrated and supported. supportive in parenthood. For anyone who may not consider themselves all that spiritual or hippie and may find themselves leading a more conventional life, Tracey acts as an amazing bridge between suburban society and the sacred.
Tracey talks about how magic mushrooms have completely altered the way in which she views the world and how beneficial this work with mushrooms has been in her mothering. How she's able to co create a beautiful life alongside her daughter and see her in her wisdom and fullness in a whole new light.
And how psilocybin can support us in loosening our tight grip of control in life and learning to trust more deeply. She talks about how powerful and healing. These can be in a therapeutic, healing context, but also how fun they can be at the same time, reminding us of our joy and creativity. I love hearing Tracey's personal story and how her wisdom and humor are so deeply woven in this conversation.
I hope you enjoy. All right. Super excited to be chatting with Tracey T. tonight. Really excited to dive into a bit of your story, Tracey. And, yeah, I would love to just start off by hearing a little bit of what life looks like for you at this point in time. And, yeah, you can elaborate as you'd like.
What your work in the world looks like, what you're passionate about. Yeah, let's start there.
[00:05:23] Tracey Tee: All right. I love starting there. Gosh, that's so awesome that you asked what my work in the world and what I'm passionate about because I feel like finally at 46, those two things have come together in a really beautiful way.
Not that I haven't always followed my passions. I'm a third generation entrepreneur and I've been fortunate to own several businesses and work for myself for my whole adult life. So on one sense that's always been a passion. Now with moms on mushrooms, I feel like my path is aligned with how I have to make money or if I have, how I'm making money, but yep, my name is Tracey T.
I live in Denver, Colorado. I have a daughter who's 11. I've been married for 20 years, unbelievably. And I. I am the grateful steward of Moms on Mushrooms, which is a community and platform and course for moms specifically who are interested in microdosing psilocybin. And that came through my own journey with the medicine and truly healing from All the things came to it in the heart of 2020 after losing my own business and losing everything really and and then after a big journey, it just became abundantly clear that this was the next.
This is the next path for me. So that's what I'm doing. And I just wake up every day. So grateful to be able to work with the medicine and a meaningful way and help moms. I've been in the mom space for 10 years, but the, before this, I had a company called band of mothers. Which started out as a live touring comedy show for moms called the pump and dump show that I created and co wrote and performed with my business partner and best friend.
And we toured the whole country. It turned into a podcast, it turned into an app and all the things. And then when the pandemic hit, because we were mostly a live entertainment business, we weren't able. to do the 100 shows we had planned between January and June. And then it just, and then we weren't able to do the fall shows we had planned in 2020.
And then we weren't able to do the shows in 2021. And then we just shut everything down. So that's a speed sped up that shell of where I'm at. That's me.
[00:07:43] Mackenzie River: Wow. Oh thank you so much for sharing that and I didn't put the pieces together with Band of Mothers and your Pump and Dump Show ending in conjunction with all of the craziness these past few years.
Yeah, part of me is oh, like just feeling that cuz I'm sure it was just like but yeah, I know that it touched so many people and yeah, I look forward to tuning into more of the podcast episodes, just, going back in time in that sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:08:14] Tracey Tee: It was a real joy. I loved doing it and loved making moms laugh and, I think we worked really hard to.
peel the layers back in the veil of motherhood and be real raw and honest. It wasn't naval gazily. It wasn't like, why doesn't anyone do the laundry? It was really about having these shared experiences and mom and laughing about all the things we had in common or have in common. And it was really fun and it was fun to do that in a comedy setting and do it live on stage in front of actual human people, and here.
Hundreds or thousands of women laughing at the same time. It's so healing. So yeah, it was really beautiful, but all good things come to an end. And like our agent said, when we finally decided to close down, I was like a balling on the phone and apologizing and feeling like a failure. And he just said, don't be sad, be glad it happened.
And so that's what I try to live with.
[00:09:07] Mackenzie River: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I feel like it's such an important like element of healing and connection is like laughter and being in that like joyful comedic energy. I, we all take life so seriously and need some of that medicine, so moving from that medicine, which I'm sure is just Also who you are but moving into this sphere of moms on mushrooms and moving into this other form of beautiful medicine.
So I would love to hear like a little bit of your own experience with psilocybin and how that then led to you branching out into this business venture.
[00:09:49] Tracey Tee: Yeah, it was I was definitely one of the people in 2020 that had a massive awakening and I think just in the midst of when you have a business and it worked as hard as we had, it was truly like a another child between the two of us.
And so losing it so abruptly and just losing all control and watching tens of thousands of dollars slip through your fingers, never to be seen again, and all your hopes and dreams is shattered. There was just. so many moments in those early days of laying in the couch and the fetal position. And I had been on my, on a spiritual journey kind of starting around 2018, but then it just kicked into high gear in 2020.
And in the middle of that, I had been really actually been called the ayahuasca for a long time, way before I got. So trendy, but I'm just, I've never been a big drug person at all. Never even did psilocybin until I was 45 years old. So I just was like that sounds amazing, but I'm probably never going to go to the jungle and do it.
And Then of course read how to change your mind. And I, but even before that, I remember talking to my doctor about psilocybin. I was like, I don't know. I just think it's something maybe I want to do, or what is this microdosing thing? And then in the summer of 2020, I went to a lake with my best friend and business partner.
And she was like, okay, we're doing shrooms. And She's just trust me. You're gonna love it. It's great. Come on, just do it. And I thought to myself if this feels right in my body and if it kind of answers all the questions that I think I have about this medicine and if I have a good time, I don't know.
Maybe this is, maybe there's something there. And I totally had the best time. I was definitely that one that like laid on the beach and stared at the sky and saw all the symbols and All the dimensions and felt so held by God and connected and just everything, just the most perfect trip you could imagine for your first time out.
And I was an instant convert. I remember waking up the next morning and I was like, Where has this been my whole life? And why are we all taking this? I remember calling my mom on the way home and just being like, and then this, and then I saw this and and then this was answered and it was just amazing.
And so not soon after that not too soon after that, I. Microdosing course came across my LinkedIn page of all places that was created by this woman. And it just checked all the boxes that I was looking for, like how to microdose, what should I do? It was created by a woman. I was going to learn things.
I'm a big book nerd. And it just felt like the right thing. next step. So I just took a chance and joined this random course and by Casey Garrett, who is, huge in the space and it changed my life. And I think once I took the medicine and those small doses, I was just, again, I'm just, I did a large dose journey a few months ago, probably six months ago now go.
And I was lying on the floor in a heap crying. And I said to my guide, I was like, I think I just put here on this earth to take mushrooms. It's I just, I really. me and those that medicine, we are a match made in heaven. So when I started microdosing, I just went from zero to 60 overnight and I was just transformed.
And so pursued it and just grew and grew and changed. And it helped me through some really awful things. My family was in a really bad car accident. Last summer we were hit by a drunk driver in the mountains. My daughter was in the car, my niece was in the car and walking away from waking up in a ditch, pulling your kids out of the car.
As a mom, you don't alchemize that stuff very easily. And I realized that this medicine allowed me to process all those feelings almost in hyperspeed and just not attached to it. And so in the midst of. Of all of this and all of this change and my husband left his job and started a new career, just so much change and turmoil.
The one constant through the whole thing was the medicine. And I had started slowly coming out of the closet and talking to other moms about it. And then I ended up doing an Instagram post on band of mothers and just took a chance and. the response was women were just like, Oh my gosh, I've been thinking about this.
I've always wanted to do it. I've never known what to do. Like you're normal. You seem normal. So if you can do it, maybe I can. And I've tried everything and I'm depressed and my husband's depressed. And, and so again, it was one of those kinds of question marks, like maybe there's something here.
And then after another journey, it became abundantly clear that this was my path. And when we ended up finally closing down Band of Mothers I just said, I was like, God, just show me what's next. And I sat down in our guest bedroom on a bed for two weeks and just wrote a course like out of nowhere.
I hadn't written like that in 10 years. And. A group of women agreed to take the first course with me and that was in January and now it's July and the rest is history.
[00:14:39] Mackenzie River: Wow. Wow. I love hearing yeah, how beautiful your first experience was. I think that can definitely deter people. It's challenging.
Oh my gosh. Like never doing that again, but it's always nice to hear those. Yeah, just lighthearted, expansive moments with the medicine. And yeah, and just this whole unfolding of all of these challenges and changes over these past few years and how supportive it could be for you. And then I love, how you said the response was large on your platform, but.
People be like, you're like, okay, you're normal. You seem like you got your shit together. Maybe I can try this because, there's lots of hippie dippy, spiritual, whatever, women, mamas, people that are, have been working with medicines for ages and are not always getting the same response, or whatever it is.
So I just love seeing the diversity in the space of people coming. Forward and sharing this in a big way and that your emphasis is mothers because obviously that's mine. Yeah. So you said that this is all just began since January that you finished your course
[00:15:55] Tracey Tee: finished and started it. Yeah, I started with a group of seven women in January and we finished in March, the first course and at the end of that course.
They were all like what else do you have? Cause we're not going anywhere. We're continuing. And it was just the most, the highest compliment you could imagine receiving. And and then during that time, I was like, I think. I think there might be a business here. And it was very hard to step into that teacher role.
It was very hard to step into that role being relatively new to the space. And I was very blessed that accident actually brought me to my mentor who's been working with the medicine underground forever. And she's a shaman and a mother. And again, same thing. We met, I my whole family went to her, to alchemize the accident and we talked about the accident and then it was like, okay, what's next?
And and I think just being provided these cornerstones gave me the confidence to do it, even though. I didn't really think I had the chops to step into this space with all these veterans and it's a, it's an interesting balance between following your passion and knowing in your heart you're meant to do this work and giving reverence to the people before you who have Done the research and written the books and done the time and all the things and I'll be there someday.
So it's, it's interesting to start a whole new career in psychedelics in your mid forties as a middle aged housewife in Denver. But
[00:17:28] Mackenzie River: yeah. Oh my God. I love it. There's definitely, yeah, not enough of us out there, although there's so many in the space, but
[00:17:38] Tracey Tee: Yeah. And that's what I realized and for me going through that, the course that I took, which was so profound, it changed my life forever and I recommend it to people all the time, but my one thing while sitting on the zoom calls was.
God, this experience is just so different from others. Just getting on a zoom call when you're a mom is a fricking miracle and your healing is done. It's compartmentalized. You don't, we don't get to go for two weeks to Peru. We don't get to just go off to Bali or, sit in meditation for two hours.
Our healing is done. It. School, in between school drop off and ballet and doctor's appointments and homework and lunches and all the things and so I just felt like if I could offer a space and speak the language that I needed to be spoken, it would help more moms feel like they could do this.
And we're just in this time is I'm sure, mothers are broken right now and scared and confused and really tired. And I just think this medicine is arriving in a moment in history where it's going to change everything. And so I was maybe I'm not qualified, but who am I to. Deny the call.
[00:18:50] Mackenzie River: Exactly. Yeah. Denying the call. That's exactly what I was just thinking is like when something like that comes to you full force. And it's just like this knowing you can't, yeah, you can't back away from that one. Good for you for diving in. And that definitely, I feel was a similar experience for me coming into birth work.
It didn't even feel like I stepped into it. It was just like, Sweeping me in like from such a young age. It's been just, yeah, loud and clear. So good for you for following that. And I would love to hear how, this medicine has impacted your mothering and like how your mothering has evolved over the past decade of having your daughter.
And
[00:19:38] Tracey Tee: yeah, gosh, that's a great question. It's so different. I came to this medicine when my kiddo was, I guess let's say nine. So I had those early years when I was on the road performing. And when you're in the thick of it, those first five years are so hard on a mom. You question every decision you make.
You think every day is your last, you're so tired. You can't ever imagine that your kid is going to be autonomous or, not pooping their pants or needing to be fed. And it, you just don't even, you can't even see past, and and in those early days, I was that overwhelmed mom that was drinking a bottle of Chardonnay most nights and just in survival mode.
I had my, Like my sister wives and my group of dear friends and, but we, I just look back now and we weren't healing each other. We were just in survival mode. We were just trying to, drink as much as we could to feel something, to feel like women again, to feel human, to not worry for a hot second.
And I think I just. didn't allow my inner goddess mom, my inner wisdom to just tell I didn't listen to her telling me I was going to be okay. And I got sucked up in the superwoman, mentality of having to do all things. And then again and I, and then in the middle of it was serving moms, I was going on the road and performing.
And I loved that, but I wasn't taking care of myself. I didn't think I had a right to take care of myself. What did I have to take a bath or to work on myself? None of those things occurred to me until I was just so tired after years and years of performing that it was, the talk about, another call.
I just I spent three days crying in a bathtub thinking this can't be all there is in life. Like I have. I'm so tired, and and so when I really, when I started working on myself spiritually, looking into shadow work and egos and learning about vulnerability, learning about my Enneagram, all those things started to allow to take that wall away from me.
And I started softening, I think as a person, so certainly softening as a mother. And then once I started the medicine, I really realized. how I can co create this life with my kid. And I think that's probably been the most beautiful gift is not only is she getting older, so it just is easier.
It's complicated because she's a tween and, but It's emotional in this beautiful way. And I just see her and I see a life together that we can do together and that we can do, my husband and I can do with her and it feels so much more on equal footing rather than like parent child battle all the time.
And I think that's probably the biggest change is just sitting with her and being present to what she needs and allowing myself to allow her to be her own person. And we've made so many changes and dropping all the belief systems and how I think her life should look like, and just allowing her life to look what's best for her.
[00:22:53] Mackenzie River: So beautiful. I feel like it's been a common thread to, to hear, the mamas that have spoken on the show in regards to mushrooms, like these threads that have come up pretty much every time around just like the deeper presence and that being pretty much the number one, like deeper presence and the surrendering into what is, and being able to, Yeah, just remove yourself from some of that pressure or like these projections or patterns or things that, how we feel like we should be as mothers and all of that.
And just widens the perspective and takes a little pressure off. And, I would love to hear if there's any golden nuggets or key like words or feelings that you feel are coming through when you think of your relationship with the mushrooms and how that impacts your mothering.
[00:23:51] Tracey Tee: I would say I would say it's allowed me like you just said it to just dismantle how I think things should be and let them unfold how they actually should be, not how I want them to be or how I was told. And I think and I think COVID helped a lot of this too, for people. I just don't care so much anymore.
I'm so much more confident. This is what the medicine, I think long term does. It has done for me, who has this COVID. crippling guilt complex. And I was born with it, then raised very Christian and conservative. And I'm just, it's just looming everywhere. But now I have this confidence that I recognize is an ego.
It's a knowing it's the wisdom coming out. And when you feel that and you just trust yourself and you're listening to your intuition because your third eye is there with you. You just know what's right for your kiddo. And it's so easy to make decisions in a bubble because the outside world doesn't matter.
And it's confusing sometimes, like even right now, like we're thinking about moving and I'm not really sure like traditional school is the best option for her. I don't know. And even three years ago, I would have been like that's insane. Like she obviously has to go to school and then she's got to do this.
And now I'm just like, I don't know. We've got to find what's right for her and she's going to figure it out and we're going to figure it out and we're all doing it out of love and we're going to find the best thing for her. And it's such a relief to just not worry about what other people will say or think or what will happen.
You just know it's going to be okay.
[00:25:32] Mackenzie River: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like just that releasing some like layers of doubt and guilt and shame and all of these things that we all experience and just like bringing a deeper level of trust and just no, yeah, that knowing that things are going to work out as they're meant to.
So yeah, so good. Beautiful. So obviously, This medicine wasn't a part of your earlier mothering days. I would love if there's anything you want to share in regards to your pregnancy or birth experience and what that was like for you and. Yeah, and then maybe we can dive into how you feel like it could be supportive for someone For motherhood to start working with this medicine either micro or macro
[00:26:20] Tracey Tee: Yeah, man, use me as a cautionary tale of what not to do.
When I it took me Five years to get pregnant. I had stage four endometriosis from the time I was about 25. So I have had a series of surgeries. I had a assist the size of a cantaloupe taken off my ovary when I was 25 years old after they drained two liters from it. I've had fibroids, I've had more cysts.
I had a appendectomy because the endometriosis choked my appendicitis and they had to cut me open 10 inches to even get it out. I've. been through the rigor and I thought I wanted a basketball team. I thought I wanted 10 boys and I was, we were going to have this huge house of kids and I got pregnant one time and it was a complete miracle.
It was after we decided to stop doing Clomid so many times, we just couldn't do it anymore. And then of course, a month later I got pregnant. And then when I was pregnant, I got super sick. I had preeclampsia really bad. It went undiagnosed. I blew up like a balloon. I almost died. I had an emergency C section three months, three weeks early.
Didn't get my natural birth. didn't get to even use my doula. My doula got the flu when I had my, nothing worked. And in all that time I had a different business. I was working to the bone. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was determined that I was going to be a CEO and I was going to work up to the day I gave birth and I never needed to stop.
And it was go. And I was on the table. This is like aging a little bit, but like I was on the table with my Blackberry.
And of course I had preeclampsia, then afterwards, even being so sick and if I went straight, I'm sure I had postpartum that I didn't even recognize because I was determined to go back to work fast and I never let myself rest and man, if if I had the medicine and worked with mushrooms, even while getting pregnant and giving myself to forgive my body for, having endometriosis, working with the endo in a way that was, I did everything natural I could, but back then nobody even really cared.
There wasn't a lot of compassion. Everyone was just like, Oh if you can't get pregnant, just do fertility treatments. There was, I felt very alone and misunderstood and I had no grace inside my life and it, and then I had no grace when I had the baby and I had no grace when I had was forced to have a C section and I had no context or no container to feel held.
in a way that would allow me to heal. And I would just, I see moms now going and doing journeys while they're preparing and even thinking about children. And it's God, get your shit together before you have a kid, get real clear why you want it, get clear on your priorities. They're going to change and nothing is going to ever look in motherhood.
Like you want it to, but you can at least. Just try to clear yourself out, I didn't start doing shadow work until I was in my forties and I didn't even know what that was. And I just see so many younger mothers so much further ahead than me. And I would in a million times over, I would work with medicine probably in small doses.
I would probably work with it during pregnancy and I sure as hell would do it after. like hands down for postpartum, wouldn't even think twice about it. So don't be like me. I did it all wrong, but that's my path, but that was part of my path and now I know and I can see. I can pass that on and, and change it for others.
[00:30:06] Mackenzie River: Absolutely. Thank you so much for opening up about all of that and yeah, and just inspiring to hear that if you were, in a different life that you would do things differently and you would explore with these medicines in preparation and possibly in pregnancy and definitely afterwards.
That's obviously a huge theme of the show is. is talking about people's experiences and like plenty of people working with medicines during pregnancy and overcoming the stigma around that and all of the projections and yet also speaking to, Indigenous folks that have been working with these medicines in their lineages for how many generations?
Expected. Obviously, you're going to work with mushrooms for your children's brain development. Like, why wouldn't you do that? Whereas in the West. Yeah,
[00:30:55] Tracey Tee: I know.
[00:30:57] Mackenzie River: Yeah. So thank you for sharing that. And I definitely feel like when there's all of these challenges during the pregnancy and when the birth outcome is not what was anticipated and then rushing into work and all of these factors of course, that contributes to the potential of experiencing postpartum depression.
And, like one thing I noticed you said was, and I definitely experienced postpartum and it's just an interesting thing that I noticed societally that we associate the word postpartum with postpartum depression. And that's what. So many of us do, like you hear postpartum and you're like, Oh yeah.
Like someone that was super impressed.
[00:31:38] Tracey Tee: It's just postpartum. You just had a baby. That's all that means. Yeah. That's so true.
[00:31:45] Mackenzie River: Yeah. But it's such a prominent thing. And I just feel like it's been so incredibly supportive. to have the word out about women using this medicine to, to heal in that time and to support their mental health and ultimately become the mothers that they want to be and not being an ally and a tool.
Yeah. So one thing that. It was coming to me as you were speaking. That's, veering off track a little bit is, what you think about younger people, like coming into working with these medicines. And of course, preparing for motherhood is one thing, but, even younger, there's teenagers that have obviously been working with medicines for and not always responsibly, but yeah, in, in the future, if there could be a way of us supporting younger people in exploring with these medicines in a healthy way, microdosing, whatever that looks like for their own mental health and their own healing long before many of us are doing it.
[00:32:48] Tracey Tee: I was going to add that. Even though I screwed up pre and postpartum I was given a second chance and we raise our daughter now around this medicine. She's we don't ever lie to her. She knows exactly when mom goes and does a journey. She knows the lingo. She knows we talk about it with sacredness and intention and it would be.
an honor to introduce this to her at a time where her mind is so confused and to have her have access to clarity and whatever lessons she's supposed to learn to give that gift to our children before they just go off and drink themselves into oblivion in college or just run. You're, you have to be listless in life.
It's part of our transformation, but I think having this ally and knowing that it's there for you and knowing how to use it wisely but also knowing how to use it for fun and how to just have a beautiful, joyful life and an expansive experience within that container. Yes, please. Like I'm all about that.
And children are truly a passion of mine. And, even though right now I'm working with mothers, it's also a passion. I, a lot of the mission of moms on mushrooms is heal moms so that we can. We can raise a new generation of Children and we can only do that if we're fixed and then we can look into the kids and I see these kids and they are just as broken as the moms are.
And the drugs, the pharmaceuticals, the screen time, the video games, the overstimulation, the under stimulation, the lack of connection to nature, the lack of friends, the all. It's tragic to witness. And I do think I think there's a place for the medicine there for sure. 100%.
[00:34:37] Mackenzie River: Yeah, I absolutely agree.
And I have to say for myself personally I am so grateful that I came to find mushrooms when I was 17 years old and had a beautiful time with two of my best friends, in the forest and had no idea what I was stepping into. But like I was reflecting it on it the other day and I'm like, that's absolutely changed the trajectory of my life, like that one day.
And just, yeah, like how that could look in the future or, with my own children and microdosing, it's, I just feel like it's such, it's obviously such a minute amount. I think some people, There's still confusion around what microdosing looks like. They're like, okay, so it's just a small trip, but no.
You can elaborate on that a little bit. It's obviously been talked about on the show and there's different protocols and things like that, but perhaps a protocol that you might work with or like what microdosing actually looks like in your day to day life.
[00:35:32] Tracey Tee: Yeah. That's interesting because I actually came up with my own mom protocol because again, Looking at mothers, there is so much fear coming into this medicine, and I have definitely been someone who has always had one foot in this one kind of hippie dippy life and then I've also had another foot in being a cheerleader, and a kappa gamma, and like super responsible, and an overachiever, and I've always just, I've always I was an actress, but I was also a prom queen, like I always did these, I always had tipped the scales And so I want to provide a space for moms where it doesn't feel too woo cuckoo.
But it also doesn't feel too clinical. And then marry the two so that the people who are coming with fear and know they need to be healed but have no idea what an Oracle card is. All right, let's talk about that. Let me show you how I use them. And then the people who are Ultra spiritual.
All right. Let's work. Let's look about what other moms look like in our communities and let's talk to them too, and so anyway, I think there's a lot of fear for the women who come to me are very concerned with losing control, not being able to take care of your kids. Can I drive the kids to school?
Am I going to be seeing rainbows and spiders crawling on the wall? And so for me, it's. I know we all say start low and go slow, but like we start real low and we go real slow so that there's, we eliminate any trepidation on, am I going to take too much? And I think too, for mothers, especially if you've been in the traditional Western medical system, Had the birth, had trauma in your birth, been abandoned by your doctors.
You're so programmed to think of everything as a medicinal protocol, that part of what I do is try to teach women how to learn to trust themselves again, and work with the medicine. And like, when you feel that medicine inside you, you are going to know if you need to up your dose a little bit. You're going to know if you need to take it.
A couple or three more days a week, you're going to know when you should take a break. And it's that trust muscle that we've never, we haven't used in so long. So again, I just try to provide the container and the platform and start just a couple, three days a week. Try that out. So you feel good. And we just really slowly baby steps work that trust muscle so that women feel really embodied and empowered to then start saying, you know what?
Actually, I think 200 grams is good for me. Not grams, but milligrams. No one take 200 grams. It won't be good. 200 milligrams, and some people can take 50 milligrams and some people can take 200 and. Not all bodies are the same and we don't all need the same things and it's like allowing that to happen.
And I think that's what's cool about the cohorts because people, when we get on zoom and share any one mom is just learning to do it different. And so that's the protocol. Trust yourself,
[00:38:34] Mackenzie River: beautiful. Yeah. And I liked how you spoke to this reality that I think a lot of mothers, a lot of women, a lot of people on this planet, I think struggle with The thought of losing control or we all have to have our tight grip on controlling our environment or every everything, and I like that you bring that approach of going slow and steady and making people feel comfortable and not necessarily losing control.
But then in the process of, the experience with the medicine, it's like we naturally start to lose control in our grip. Of that, if that makes sense,
[00:39:12] Tracey Tee: that makes total sense. And I also think too, I have a different philosophy, even about large dose journeys. And I think it's because I've just come to believe that unlike our original peoples and the indigenous cultures, we don't have any context with working with this type of medicine.
We don't know what it means like to integrate healing and health like in our daily life with nature. And so I think it's really important for people to spend some time with this medicine, learn about it, create respect for it. Understand the sacredness, come up with your only. like your own sacred practice and get real comfortable with having this medicine in and around your life, in and around your children, all the things.
And I think then go and do your big journey. And I think it's not going to be such a jarred of the system where it might actually have a more beneficial effect because we are all under so much trauma right now. so much stress and overwhelm that sometimes I wonder if just diving in and taking three or five grams with no context and no understanding of how serious and beautiful and important this medicine really is, you're probably not, you're not going to have the most beneficial trip you could.
And you may not even have a good one because you're like not mentally or physically prepared for it.
[00:40:35] Mackenzie River: Yeah, I totally agree with that. I think that wasn't my entrance in. It was, I was definitely just thrown right in there and it was profound, but yet took a lot to, to integrate that or even have an understanding of what integration was at that point in my life.
But I feel very much so that, yeah, like starting to build that relationship with the medicine, the familiarity, and just really easing in and some of that work naturally occurring through the healing process of the microdosing that, yeah, it won't feel so so much like a stranger to dive into a deeper journey at that point.
So I definitely agree with that for sure.
[00:41:18] Tracey Tee: And we have so much, there's so much fear swirling in our orbits right now. So much fear and division and Fear, fear everywhere. It's like it's the drug of choice right now, and if you can't alchemize some of that and clear some of that out of the way and learn how to ignore it and how to stand in the middle of it as a sovereign being you're going to enter into a big journey with so much fear and programming and reading too many Instagram posts and too much this and joining some group and blah, blah, blah.
And I just think it's just going to affect. How the positivity of it where if you just work with it and learn to trust it and commune with it and bring these little beings of light into your being, you're that's just one less thing to be fearful of, I think.
[00:42:08] Mackenzie River: 100%. I would love to hear for you what is a preferred way of journeying with a larger dose?
I know I have my preferred set and setting and playlists and whatnot, but what does that look like for some of the things you like to have around to make it yeah, more, more comfortable, more useful, more fun. What does that look like?
[00:42:30] Tracey Tee: Yeah I've been lucky. I'm, I'm learning from my mentor.
So she's really guided me through my journeys. And she is old school and very shamanic. I definitely would want in terms of. person. I don't think I don't feel ready to do a big dose journey by myself because I know the power of especially having a shamanic guide there with you to help you through those dark portals and channel with you and so many beautiful things and bringing that own sort of vibrant holy energy to the ceremony.
But besides that, Girl, I just need a mat on the floor and a bunch of Kleenexes and some bone broth. And even the playlist, I've never, I actually really someone else managing it like intuitively. For me, who again is like a type A, Enneagram 8, Aries, German. Her heritage person truly like releasing and surrendering into the entire experience and allowing the music to happen.
Obviously I'll speak up as something is like jarring me the wrong way, but I really believe that all of those elements can come together for your benefit. If you're open to letting. everything work together. Yeah, that's really it. I'm really not that picky. I can do it inside. I can absolutely, of course, do it outside.
I think some windows are good. I don't think I'd like to be in a closed room, but some views of some trees, but otherwise. Yeah, that's about it. And a good blanket.
[00:43:58] Mackenzie River: Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. I feel like having just, yeah, the coziest things around, like having some nice smells, maybe yeah, just having your, whatever feels good to you, like having those things around, or yeah, the ways in which you find comfort, obviously.
Typically, people are not wanting to chow down a big meal. But yeah, for me I typically like to be out in nature and I live pretty immersed in nature in Canada and Costa Rica. But yeah and definitely enjoy journeying with a few dear friends or in a ceremonial space, but also like just lying down in the grass on a mat, on a blanket, whatever.
And. Sometimes blindfolded I find really powerful because then I'm just like really in there, like just See, there's no distraction. And I'm just like,
[00:44:51] Tracey Tee: wow. Yeah, I need to try that. I am also like, I'm not sure I could do a group journey. I am I talk the entire time. I do not stop talking.
And I see all the signs, everything. I see numbers. I see letters. I see Mayan language. I see all of it. So my eyes are open. I'm seeing through dimensions. So I, and then I definitely close my eyes. And they're two completely different experiences every single time. And the more I do it now, especially like this last one, I really learned to be in more in control of it, which was really cool and work on my breathing and then choose to close my eyes and go inward versus so like I would.
I would love to do one in the dark because that seems very scary to me. And so I should do that if it scares me, but yeah, and I'm also a total, I get so nauseous and I, oh, it tastes so awful. And I've always ever drunk it in the tea and it feels like torture. And I hate it. And but my mentor is always it's your choice.
If you want to puke, like you are in control of your body and you can just tell your body it's you're not going to get sick today. And it's worked. It's worked every time. But it ain't fine. So yeah, no eating for me at all. Yeah, but the bone broth is a good tip. After the bone broth is good. But now it's I associate bone broth so much with journeys that I can't drink bone broth anymore because it tastes like, it smells like mushroom tea and I hate it.
[00:46:15] Mackenzie River: Oh my god, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely like, all over the fruits but yeah that's great. Yeah, super interesting to just hear pick up on different people's experiences. And yeah, you being way more verbal versus people are just like, totally silent for an entire experience.
And it's, yeah, it's just so So, so fascinating to see what comes up.
[00:46:41] Tracey Tee: It really is. And it's such a gift to be able to sit with people on their own journeys. It's such an honor to witness that and yeah, everyone's different. It's hard to, especially in my groups with women who haven't had them and I'm very galactic.
Like I go straight to God. All my guides show up, it's a giant download of information and discussion and I know that's not like that for everyone. So it's hard to even share your experiences because I would hate for someone to go in thinking it's going to look like they're just going to see spaceships like I do.
And I'm not even like a spaceship person, but all I see are spaceships all the time. I'm like, why so many ships? But
[00:47:19] Mackenzie River: there you are. Totally, it's like the dream realm where you wake up from a crazy dream and you're just like, where did that come from?
[00:47:27] Tracey Tee: Like, where did it come from? Yeah.
[00:47:29] Mackenzie River: Somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. But that's very true too. I think People that are unfamiliar with the medicine, hear other people's experiences or wild stories or horror stories or whatever and start to make these associations when it's just throw all of that out the window, like all of it and no expectations and see what comes through, obviously.
Yeah. Easier said than done, but
[00:47:55] Tracey Tee: I think once you've done them, I love hearing about other people's experiences because I'm like, wow, it's so cool how different it all is,
[00:48:02] Mackenzie River: yeah, totally. So I would love to hear since you've gone so deep with with the mushrooms over these past few years, if you still feel a call to sit with any other plant medicine teachers or yeah, what you think that'll look like for you in the future.
[00:48:18] Tracey Tee: Yeah I definitely, ayahuasca is in my future for sure, again, that's what called to me from the very beginning so I know that's gonna happen. I really feel called to hape and I don't know why, I hate things up my nose. hate it. I can't even do the neti pot. But I love smoke. Smoke is my jam.
That is definitely something I use for healing. I really, I just love plants. Like I'm for sure a kind of a green witch. And smoke just speaks to me. So I would love to, I would love to. learn about that. Same. I love tobacco. I love the sacredness of it. And I think I'd like to do to try peyote mescaline in the right setting, obviously with the right people.
But yeah.
[00:49:03] Mackenzie River: Awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. I feel like you got to start somewhere and then I feel like they're all like in relationship. So it's like medicines will just start speaking to you and it sounds like obviously ayahuasca has already and maybe jape and all of that but i feel like ultimately they all get you to the same end goal in a sense you know you're walking through different doorways but it's absolutely It was special to, to get to know all of them.
[00:49:36] Tracey Tee: But I do love my mushrooms, man. Like I am put on this earth and I am put on this earth to commune with shrooms. I don't know why. But yeah, they're my jam. So that was my first love. Yep.
[00:49:49] Mackenzie River: I love that. Yeah. That's so awesome. And I love like envisioning you down the road and your daughter, like having a journey together.
I feel like that will be so magical. And that's definitely a dream of mine to be able to experience with with my mom one day. And I don't feel like we're too far off of that. Who knows?
[00:50:10] Tracey Tee: That's yeah, the older generations to I was just discussing this with someone. My, my parents are in their seventies and again, this is such a strange time for that generation to, to be a part of, to witness.
They're really caught in the middle of truly the most Piscean ways while they're seeing their older, middle aged children just shift dramatically and just drop and abandon everything they tried to teach us and And so much trauma left over from their parents and the wars. And I would love to do a grandma's on mushrooms course and just, Oh, so much generational healing could happen in that space.
And maybe someday I'll convince my mom to do it, but same thing. She had one bad trip at CU in the seventies and floated around the room and it's convinced it's awful. I'm like, Matt, they probably laced it with some jacked up thing that you don't even know what you took. Who are you with?
Were you drinking, But there's you have that one bad experience. It's in. It's in your brain and you don't feel safe and I get it. So we'll see.
[00:51:09] Mackenzie River: Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, I would love to see some of these older folks like stepping into it for sure. And who knows? I feel like with things becoming more regulated, more legalized, more, more in the mainstream news, it's like sparking this curiosity that I don't think was there for so many years in many of them.
And yeah, I have faith in that. And also just, in us doing our own healing work. It's like we're healing our, ancestry behind and forward. And so that's such a beautiful element of this medicine as well.
[00:51:48] Tracey Tee: Totally.
[00:51:49] Mackenzie River: Yeah. This has been so beautiful, Tracey. I'm curious if there's anything else that you feel really called to share.
either, in the realms of the mushroom medicine, motherhood overall. Yeah.
[00:52:04] Tracey Tee: No, thank you. Thank you for the space and just want to encourage you to keep on doing what you're doing too. It's such a gift every day to just meet like not only amazing people, but it needs the amazing women who are changing the narrative and The gratitude and excitement I feel every day waking up being able to be in this space is just unlike anything I've ever experienced before and so thank you for what you do.
We really appreciate it
[00:52:33] Mackenzie River: If you're loving the show, please follow us on your platform of choice Leave some stars Rate the show, leave a review, it is all so appreciated, and please share this with the people in your life that you love. If you or someone you know may be a good fit for the show and wish to share your own story, please message me on Instagram, at Mama Psychedelia, and let's connect.
Thanks for tuning in. Until next time.
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